Baby Jazz Hands

Still catching up.......

December 11th, 2008

Wake up at 5AM.  Why did I think that a 7AM ultrasound appointment was a good idea?  Drink an impossible amount of water and head to the hospital with Jake.  Been excited up until today but now I am too tired to be excited.  It's so early the hospital is scary quiet when we get there.  Watch the tech take the readings and I can see little one moving around.  So much so that it's hard for the tech to capture the heartbeat but she does and everything seems in range and is fine. Jake comes in and watches for awhile too and I realize that I could honestly spend the whole day in here watching this.  It's so quiet and peaceful.  The tech says "See that?  It's pushing itself back.  Squirmy worm."  Then the baby does a flip or something and we can see very clearly a tiny hand.  Well, at least 4 fingers of a hand.  And I think that's a sign.  Like the baby is saying, "That's enough, papparazzi!  Let me get some rest!!"  Luckily the tech was recording that moment so she was able to capture that pic for us.  

We are all on drugs....

Sorry...lots of travel and the holidays but I want to catch up so...

Thursday, Novenber 20th, 2008

Today Jake and I go in for Orientation where one of the nurses basically gives you the low down on how the next 8 months of your life are going to play out and we go over the results from the lab work from a few weeks ago.  Basically I chack out OK but there will be more tests later due to my "advanced maternal age".  I already hate those words.  But I am shocked when she says, "You tested positive for opiates." then pauses while waiting for my response.

"Whaaaaaaaaa??"

Brief history lesson here.  Dad's a retired narc.  If I was doing drugs I'd have been dead a long time ago because he would have killed me.  Further, my mom is a NICU nurse.  30+ years of visiting mom at work and seeing babies born addicted to drugs would sober anyone.  Not that any of this matters.  I bought into Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No." campaign in the fourth grade.  My blood couldn't be any cleaner, or so I thought.

Remembering that my blood was drawn by someone in a Minnie Mouse costume, I'm like: "There's no way.  Maybe there's a mix up.  Look there are a million Maria Gonzalez's out there.  Are you sure I'm not being confused with someone else?" 

So she checks again and, nope, no mix up.  That's my file.

I look at Jake and I'm just flabbergasted.  I'm like, "I have NO idea." And really, I don't.  

So the nurse, who I can tell thinks I'm lying, starts going through a laundry list of possibilities.  "Antibiotics? Morphine? Heroin?" 

Nope  Nope  and Nope.  And with each passing word I can tell.  She really DOES think I'm lying.  Guess decades of this would cause me to think so too but right now this is almost causing me to have a panic attack.  I'm getting jittery and tripping over my words, which I'm sure doesn't help my case any.  So the list ends and she starts it again hoping I guess to jar a memory or something. 

"Antibiotics?  Pain Killers?"  No.  I haven't been sick or to a doctor lately.  

"Morphine?" No.  And didn't this go out of style with Wild Bill Hickok anyway?

But then comes the kicker.  Remember that old SNL skit with Danay Carvey, the Church Lady?  Where the punch line was "Um, could it be...SATAN?!!!???!!"  This is the EXACT tone - not a question, a condemnation - she puts on when she peers over her glasses with pursed lips and asks again...

"Um....could it be...HEROIN???!!!???!!"

And then I start to laugh from the sheer absurdity of it all.  

"No."  I say again.  Failing in any way to convince her.  Then finally, Jake (my Prince) comes to my rescue.  "Hon?  What was it the dentist prescribed you a few weeks ago?"  

Ah....that's right.  I was thinking along the lines of being sick and going to the doctor.  I forgot that my dentist had attempted (and failed) to extract a wisdom tooth a few weeks back.  So she sent me home after 15 minutes of pulling with a scrip for Tylenol with Codine which I took for 5 days, even though I swear it did nothing for the pain.  I think my mind must have blocked the whole experience out, it was so painful. That was the same week I went to get my blood work done.  Duh.  

So we explain all this to the nurse who, very professionally, just makes a note in my file and sends up on our way with a ton of pamphlets and samples and stuff.  

Moral of the story kids:  Don't do drugs.

The Story So Far....

....maybe I should back up a little....

Saturday, October 11th:

In the last 2 days of a volunteer project that had gone on way too long.  I'm exhausted, cranky and irritable and I realize that I'm due any minute now for my monthly "friend" but I have a feeling (intuition?) that she may not come visiting this time around....so the vigil begins...

Sunday, October 12th:

Nada.  

Monday, October 13th:

Still Nada.  Check calendar.  Only 4 days late, but getting hopeful.

Thursday, October 16th

Nada squared.  One week late.   I'm never late.  Never.  So I'm pretty sure.  So sure in fact, it takes me another week to bother with a test.  

Thursday, October 23rd

In the early early early AM hours I take the test I already know the answer to.  Pop back in the bed and proceed to whisper to Jake the "secret" I'd been keeping.  Had already had an OB/GYN appt. for today anyway so Jake and I go together.  Not much doing this time around.  Some poking and prodding.  No blood work today even, have to go to the lab for that.  I tell the nurse upfront about the test and the doctor, whom I had never met before, walks in and says (jokingly) "Congratulations, your having twins!!" before even shaking my hand.  He has a real easy air about him so it's easy to get comfortable.  I had read that he was a jokester so I wasn't offended when he called me a "Fertle Mertle" when he asked how long we'd been trying (not long at all) and already joked about epidurals when I cringed after he'd barely touched me.  Made an appointment for a few weeks from now to do an "orientation" with the nurses.  After that we'll be able to do an appointment for a sonogram.

Monday, October 27th

Went in to get a wisdom tooth pulled after getting the OK from the OB/GYN on the pain meds it would be OK to take.  Dentist numbed the area and attempted to extract but was unable to do so.  So I get all of the pain, still have to take the pain meds, but I get to try again with an oral surgeon later.  The pain lasts all week and with the constant nausea from the morning sickness I am basically laid out all week.

Tuesday, October 28th

Get care package from Jake.  Includes a bouquet of mums and a small purple stuffed monster (in honor of Halloween).  The flowers are for me.  The monster is for the baby.  

Thursday, October 30th

Go in to get lab work done.  Loved loved loved it when the registration woman asked me if I was single.  You know, in that kind of way where you know that she assumes she already knows the answer.   The hospital is technically an "inner city" one, so I'm sure she sees a lot of single moms.  Which is sad.  Forgot I wasn't supposed to eat anything before one of the tests so I have to go back tomorrow.  

Friday, October 31st

Halloween.  Checked in by a woman wearing a paper bag on her head decorated with glitter and squiggles and googly eyes with all the detail a 2 year old could muster.  When I asked if her kids or grandkids made it for her she said, "No.  I made it myself."  Huh?  Was then given my glucose drink and blood work by Minnie Mouse.  

Tuesday, November 4th

Conflicting appointments make me have to move my orientation.  Which will, in turn, move my next doctor's appointment until after California.  So no sonograms until after Thanksgiving.  Which makes me cry.  As does everything else these days.  

...and so it begins....

  Seriously?????

  Seriously.